Analects 16.4 · Ji Shi
“There are three kinds of beneficial friends and three kinds of harmful friends.”
Meaning, context, and how to apply it today
益者三友 損者三友 (yì zhě sān yǒu, sǔn zhě sān yǒu) means “There are three kinds of beneficial friends and three kinds of harmful friends.” It is a passage from the Analects of Confucius, Book 16 (Ji Shi), Chapter 4.
益者三友 損者三友
- Pinyin
- yì zhě sān yǒu, sǔn zhě sān yǒu
- Translation
- There are three kinds of beneficial friends and three kinds of harmful friends.
- Source
- Analects, Book 16 (Ji Shi), Chapter 4
What does this passage mean?
In Ji Shi, Confucius divides friends into two groups: three beneficial kinds and three harmful kinds. Beneficial friends are upright, trustworthy, and widely informed. Harmful friends are ingratiating, flattering, or merely clever in speech. The teaching recognizes that the people with whom we associate exert a decisive influence on the formation of our character.
How can we apply it today?
A modern maxim says that you are the average of the five people with whom you spend the most time. The influence of those around us is larger than we assume. Relationships with habitual gossips, superficial companions, and smooth talkers deserve examination. We should cherish people who offer honest advice, keep promises, and share a wide range of experience.
Questions to reflect on
- ·Who around you embodies the three beneficial kinds of friend?
- ·Do you have the courage to leave a harmful relationship?
- ·Are you a beneficial friend to someone else?
Character-by-character breakdown
| Character | Pinyin | Meaning | Strokes | Radical |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 益 | yì | beneficial | 10 | 皿 (dish) |
| 者 | zhě | thing; one who | 8 | 老 (old) |
| 三 | sān | three | 3 | 一 (one) |
| 友 | yǒu | friend | 4 | 又 (again) |
| 損 | sǔn | decrease; harm | 13 | 手 (hand) |
| 者 | zhě | thing; one who | 8 | 老 (old) |
| 三 | sān | three | 3 | 一 (one) |
| 友 | yǒu | friend | 4 | 又 (again) |
Frequently asked questions
Q. What does “There are three kinds of beneficial friends…” mean?
益者三友 損者三友 (yì zhě sān yǒu, sǔn zhě sān yǒu) means “There are three kinds of beneficial friends and three kinds of harmful friends.” It comes from the Analects, Book 16 (Ji Shi), Chapter 4.
Q. Where does this passage appear in the Analects?
It is Analects 16.4: Book 16 (Ji Shi), Chapter 4.
Q. How can this teaching be applied today?
A modern maxim says that you are the average of the five people with whom you spend the most time.The influence of those around us is larger than we assume.