Analects 14.7 · Xian Wen
“If you love someone, can you avoid asking that person to exert effort? If you are loyal, can you avoid offering guidance?”
Meaning, context, and how to apply it today
愛之能勿勞乎 忠焉能勿誨乎 (ài zhī néng wù láo hū, zhōng yān néng wù huì hū) means “If you love someone, can you avoid asking that person to exert effort? If you are loyal, can you avoid offering guidance?” It is a passage from the Analects of Confucius, Book 14 (Xian Wen), Chapter 7.
愛之能勿勞乎 忠焉能勿誨乎
- Pinyin
- ài zhī néng wù láo hū, zhōng yān néng wù huì hū
- Translation
- If you love someone, can you avoid asking that person to exert effort? If you are loyal, can you avoid offering guidance?
- Source
- Analects, Book 14 (Xian Wen), Chapter 7
What does this passage mean?
In this passage from the Xian Wen chapter, Confucius explains the true meaning of love and loyalty. 勞 means causing someone to exert effort, while 誨 means instructing and awakening. If we genuinely love someone, we should require that person to make the effort needed for growth; if we are genuinely loyal, we should correct the person's mistakes. The teaching warns against blind love and flattery.
How can we apply it today?
Parents today sometimes claim to love their children while shielding them from every difficulty. From Confucius's perspective, however, true love allows a child to experience appropriate trials and challenges. A manager who never points out an employee's mistakes is showing indifference, not consideration. A friend who ignores another's wrongdoing is standing by, not practicing friendship. Sometimes the greatest love is speaking an uncomfortable truth, and the greatest trust is assigning difficult work.
Questions to reflect on
- ·Have I ever told an uncomfortable truth to someone I love?
- ·Have I ever hindered someone's growth while trying to protect that person?
- ·Is there someone who tells me truths that are hard to hear?
Character-by-character breakdown
| Character | Pinyin | Meaning | Strokes | Radical |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 愛 | ài | love | 13 | 心 (heart) |
| 之 | zhī | go; possessive particle | 4 | 丿 (slash) |
| 能 | néng | capable | 10 | 肉 (meat) |
| 勿 | wù | do not | 4 | 勹 (wrap) |
| 勞 | láo | toilsome | 12 | 力 (power) |
| 乎 | hū | grammatical particle | 5 | 丿 (slash) |
| 忠 | zhōng | loyalty | 8 | 心 (heart) |
| 焉 | yān | grammatical particle | 11 | 火 (fire) |
| 能 | néng | capable | 10 | 肉 (meat) |
| 勿 | wù | do not | 4 | 勹 (wrap) |
| 誨 | huì | teach | 14 | 言 (speech) |
| 乎 | hū | grammatical particle | 5 | 丿 (slash) |
Frequently asked questions
Q. What does “If you love someone, can you avoid asking…” mean?
愛之能勿勞乎 忠焉能勿誨乎 (ài zhī néng wù láo hū, zhōng yān néng wù huì hū) means “If you love someone, can you avoid asking that person to exert effort? If you are loyal, can you avoid offering guidance?” It comes from the Analects, Book 14 (Xian Wen), Chapter 7.
Q. Where does this passage appear in the Analects?
It is Analects 14.7: Book 14 (Xian Wen), Chapter 7.
Q. How can this teaching be applied today?
Parents today sometimes claim to love their children while shielding them from every difficulty.