Analects 5.17 · Gongye Chang
“Yan Pingzhong was skilled in friendship: however long he knew people, he continued to treat them with respect.”
Meaning, context, and how to apply it today
晏平仲善與人交 久而敬之 (yàn píng zhòng shàn yǔ rén jiāo, jiǔ ér jìng zhī) means “Yan Pingzhong was skilled in friendship: however long he knew people, he continued to treat them with respect.” It is a passage from the Analects of Confucius, Book 5 (Gongye Chang), Chapter 17.
晏平仲善與人交 久而敬之
- Pinyin
- yàn píng zhòng shàn yǔ rén jiāo, jiǔ ér jìng zhī
- Translation
- Yan Pingzhong was skilled in friendship: however long he knew people, he continued to treat them with respect.
- Source
- Analects, Book 5 (Gongye Chang), Chapter 17
What does this passage mean?
In the seventeenth chapter of Gongye Chang, Confucius comments on Yan Ying, known as Yan Pingzhong, the chief minister of Qi. Yan Ying served three rulers and was renowned as a frugal and wise statesman. Instead of his many achievements, Confucius singles out the way he made friends: however long the acquaintance, he continued to treat people with respect. The scholar Cheng Yi explained the line this way: when people know each other long, respect fades; to keep respect over a long time is what makes one good at friendship. Character shows less in how a relationship begins than in how it endures.
How can we apply it today?
Everyone is courteous to a new acquaintance. The hard part is keeping the same respect for a friend of ten years, a longtime colleague, or the spouse one lives with. As we grow closer, our words get rougher, favors are taken for granted, and thanks go unspoken. Yan Ying’s example shows that intimacy and courtesy are not opposites. Never omitting ‘thank you’ and ‘I’m sorry’ even with those closest to us, and still respecting their time and opinions, is the secret of relationships that last. The lifespan of a relationship is decided by how we behave after it has become familiar.
Questions to reflect on
- ·How much of your initial respect do you keep in your long-standing relationships?
- ·Is there someone you treat carelessly because you are close?
- ·Is there anyone you have come to respect more the longer you have known them?
Character-by-character breakdown
| Character | Pinyin | Meaning | Strokes | Radical |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 晏 | yàn | peaceful | 10 | 日 (sun) |
| 平 | píng | level; peaceful | 5 | 干 (dry) |
| 仲 | zhòng | second-born | 6 | 人 (person) |
| 善 | shàn | do well | 12 | 口 (mouth) |
| 與 | yǔ | together with | 14 | 臼 (mortar) |
| 人 | rén | person | 2 | 人 (person) |
| 交 | jiāo | associate with | 6 | 亠 (lid) |
| 久 | jiǔ | long | 3 | 丿 (slash) |
| 而 | ér | and; but | 6 | 而 (and) |
| 敬 | jìng | respect | 13 | 攴 (tap) |
| 之 | zhī | go; possessive particle | 4 | 丿 (slash) |
Frequently asked questions
Q. What does “Yan Pingzhong was skilled in friendship…” mean?
晏平仲善與人交 久而敬之 (yàn píng zhòng shàn yǔ rén jiāo, jiǔ ér jìng zhī) means “Yan Pingzhong was skilled in friendship: however long he knew people, he continued to treat them with respect.” It comes from the Analects, Book 5 (Gongye Chang), Chapter 17.
Q. Where does this passage appear in the Analects?
It is Analects 5.17: Book 5 (Gongye Chang), Chapter 17.
Q. How can this teaching be applied today?
Everyone is courteous to a new acquaintance.The hard part is keeping the same respect for a friend of ten years, a longtime colleague, or the spouse one lives with.